Desire As Divine Direction

Lessons learned in the month of July- trusting desire, receiving goodness, and a few of my favorite things.

Sometimes we ask God the same questions over and over again, and instead of listening to what our heart is speaking, we worry and fret that we are not getting an answer from him. 

God doesn’t answer every question bluntly; but sometimes in the nuances of life, the whispers of the Spirit, and the threads of desire. 

The beauty of living in the freedom that the cross bought is that you don’t have to be anxious about making the wrong decisions or following the ‘wrong’ desires. You no longer live under the law of the flesh or sin. 

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. Romans 6:14

When you stay afraid of your desires, you stay captive to a life of stagnancy and confusion. You miss the beauty and joy of walking out this journey with Jesus. 

We live in a world and culture that follows every whim and desire that moves through the desert of their soul like tumbleweeds blowing in the wind. A world that is captive to the ways of the flesh and the influence of evil. I once lived there- a slave to my senses, characteristically obsessed with indulging the appetite of my flesh. 

I even had seasons with the Lord that were one foot in, one foot out. Surrendering as an idea, or ethereal thought- but still captive to the cravings of sin and shame that bound up every action.

I would try to beat my actions into submission- stop doing this, start doing that. I would fail, obviously. You can’t win that fight without a severing of the old and surrendering to that which makes you new.

Then, the only suitable option seemed to be to let the chips fall where they may- brushing off ‘restriction’ and letting my desire lap up whatever nourishment it could find. 

I draw this point to say this- I know what it feels like to live in the desire of sin and flesh vs. the desire of the Spirit; and if you’ve had a true, transformative and redemptive experience with Christ- you will too.

This is not a self-help section on the blog or an excuse to run free with what you know is antithetical to the ways of Jesus.  

This is the reality of the freedom of the cross- that we get to live as the person we were always meant to be, discovering more of who we are as we discover more of who Christ is. 

Desire plays a vital role on the journey of knowing yourself and God.

For quite some time, I’ve spent most of my time and energy in areas of life and work that I love & that the Lord has blessed with good fruit. But my heart was tethered to another area of my life that I wanted to spend more time and energy on; an area that kept getting pushed to the back burner. 

Ironically, this desire of my heart was the same desire I’ve heard God prophetically speak to me about over and over again- encouraging and calling me to live it out, here and now. Not waiting. Not pushing it to the back burner. Not finding other things to do instead.

Yet, I would build up a case in my head as to why this desire was impossible to live out. I would push it down or suppress it- only allowing it to break free from its cage of restriction at designated times or spaces. 

Why was I so afraid of my desire?

Why are you? 

Time and again, I find that my desires line up with the heartbeat of God as Jesus transforms the way I think, see, and act to be more like him. 

God has trusted you with the freedom and ability he’s given you to dream and desire.. But do you trust you? 

Ultimately, the Holy Spirit helped me to discover that so much of my personal resistance came down to the simple fact that I was afraid of my own desire, because it meant that I might actually receive a form of goodness and fulfillment that felt too good. I was unsure how to actually receive that much goodness poured out over me. It felt unnatural. I had no metric for it, because my previous strategy was always bent on give and take. I had to do something hard, push more, or perform in a certain way to receive goodness….  and now this? That God would allow my heart's desire to line up with his in a way that would not only fulfill me but transform others? That was a gift that felt impossible for me to receive.

I have resisted what my heart yearns for and what God has asked me to do, because it felt hard for me to accept the capacity of goodness that is available to me. 

I’ve learned that Jesus truly has to teach you how to receive divine love, because it’s unlike anything you’ve ever known. 

New territory means new receptivity.

Receiving perfect love comes from living through the Spirit, not from living out the old mindsets and identities of an orphan child who feels unworthy.

He has not only given me a new identity, but teaches me how to live it out. 

Desires are a divine gift from God. Welcome them in and let them fly free, because on their wings you will find your destiny. 

Ashley

---

A Few of My Favorite Things In July

Discernment by Henri Nouwen

I love reading Nouwen. He illuminates and articulates thoughts and feelings that ripple beneath the surface of my heart & soul but have not yet landed in complete revelation or embodiment. This book (I’m still reading) has put words to so many of the practices I’ve learned that are critical to living a life of receptivity to the Holy Spirit. 

This Heartfelt Message from Steffany Gretzinger

This will bring you straight to the feet of Jesus. I felt the presence of the Lord just listening to her speak so sweetly about following Jesus and keeping our gaze on our first love.

The Hiding Place Book by Corrie Ten Boom

I pulled this book out of a stack at my dad’s house and figured I would read it at some point- which happened to be this past month. I had seen the movie and knew the story, but I feel as if I only knew 1/10th of this story before reading the book. This is Corrie Ten Boom’s story of helping hide Jewish people during the Holocaust. Riveting, captivating, and both parts sorrowful & joyful- it was definitely a book that has marked me forever.

This Phenomenal Podcast Episode From What’s The Juice

Discussing the health benefits of beans and their role in detoxification; as well as some need-to-know info about your caffeine intake. Outside of learning about the microbiome, or the hormonal cycle, this was one of the most fascinating health topics I’ve learned about to date.

A Social Media Break

I took an extended break (most of June) off social media, and it was as wonderful as I hoped it to be. If you’ve been thinking of doing this, hopefully this writing piece I wrote about my time offline will inspire you to go for it.